sunshine.

sunshine my <3
it's saturday, nice day to sleep on.

time and time,
no one see this coming. it's really hurting at times.
and i do wanna try , and i wanna love you.
me and you used to to be tired and bloody,
gave away the failure and see me running back

to be frank, i'm afraid to let you see me crying.
and hold back my tears this time.
why you put in a spot,
like my heart gonna drop, i can't control the pain,
why am i holding back, i should tell you how i feel.
thinking you are so near yet so far.
deeper than i fall. you response to what i said .
i don't wanna be like a fool.

'' making all kind of silence to realize''
i'm not perfect but i keep on trying.
20 novemeber 2010,
a day i wanna shut myself.
bust off your windowss.
was it something i said or just my personality.



today i'm gonna be stronger than before, i don't wanna hold on to something that don't belong to me.
forget about a year or so that i knew you.
remember how hard you tried to chase me for 8 months or so?

was it my fault? you said you were feeling scared,
what's the scaring thing about? was it a wrong to be working everyday and feeling tired?
was it wrong i wanna spend time with my besties.
was it wrong that i don't wanna spend most of my dinner with you?
was it wrong that i joke with you than you did?
was it wrong to attend lesson and stop my schooling?
was it wrong to be friendly?
was it wrong to cancel our dates when you actually did it most of the time & you get mad at me ?
was it my wrong?
you neverstand till i'm angry. i need a understanding guy.
i know you changed to be a better one, but look,
you still so demanding. i'm so stress.
you know what?
when i first started out with you was the inital stage of my working life & my studies.
you were my distraction but i don't mind.
i don't mind meeting you after school and head for supper even knowing i have to get up for work @ 6.30.

no one fucking understand this.
i don't need a surface of love,
love is about you doing everything that you don't mind.


this whole shit is just gonna be my past,
excel in work & studies, dance class coming up.
happiness please be with me :D

p.s , paul, stop saying my blog is boring but yet you still always reading it ' :D